Proposing new subreddit rule No more menstruation jokes. Period.

What’s the best fantasy book? A bible

Girls think shrinkage is funny but I just think they’re jealous, because the same principal does not apply to them.

90% of the internet is people who don’t know anything having their questions answered by people who don’t know anything.

What is a terrorist favorite Pokemon move? Self-Destruct

Apparently the rebooted bible will feature a female Jesus, and Moses will be a raccoon

My Facebook friends fall into 3 categories: vaguely remember, don’t remember at all, or never want to speak to for the rest of my life.

So a homeless guy asked me to give him $20 to hold him off until payday. I asked him when payday was, and he replied, “How would I know, you’re the one who’s working.”

I really need to go on the show Survivor. Not for the money or the fame. It’s just the only way I’m ever gonna effectively lose weight.

Why was the panda crying? He had a bambooboo. Aonther one from my 9 year old.