Why did Timmy fall off the swings? Didn’t have any hands.. (the real punch line) Knock knock.. Who’s there? Not Timmy..

The revolution will be tweeted. The sunset, Instagrammed. The relationship, Facebooked. The storm, Vined.

If you’re fat, don’t sugar coat it Because you’ll probably eat that too! In the midst of this craziness I saw this gem. Not my joke. Credit to everyone who thought of it first.

[Taylor Swift on toilet, going #2. Kanye jumps out of her shower] “Yo, Taylor- I’m really happy for you & I’m-a let you finish, but…”

We’re making self portrait masks in art class. I think I’ll get an A+. I could just be getting ahead of myself.

I can prove that primates don’t exist… Eight divides evenly by 2 or 4.

While people argue about the glass being half empty or half full…I’ll just be drinking from the bottle !

I can’t imagine the enormous pressure on fat black women to be sassy all the time.

In honor of easter, here’s a joke my French teacher put on the board last week. Easter is a bonne idee.

What’s awkward for a man but a normal part of the job for a lumberjack? Morning wood.