How do you throw a party in Nigeria? You stick a piece of bread to the ceiling

How do you know a woman has had sex in every country in the world? Her pussy is well cultured.

Sorry I mixed 50,000 instant pudding packets into your above ground pool

Why does a seagull fly over the sea? Because if it flew over the bay it would be a bagel!

As I read my son’s suicide letter, I couldn’t help but feel that I had failed him as a parent…. His grammar and spelling were terrible.

What’s the difference between a violin and a viola? A viola burns longer.

How many hipsters does it take to change a lightbulb? It’s a really obscure number, you probably haven’t heard of it.

Why are Americans bad at league of legends? Because they can’t defend their towers!…i’m gonna get stabbed

Apparently you can make a career out of exhaling It’s called a blowjob

In Soviet Russia… TV watches you. With much apologies to Yakov Smirnoff (who rarely told them). Please to bring on Russian Reversal jokes in comments.