What kind of horse has trouble keeping track of his Macintosh? An Appaloosa!

Apostrophes are important. “I fed the dog” “I f’ed the dog” Learn this simple rule. Your friendship with Sarah McLachlan depends on it.

Why do rednecks love Halloween? (NSFW) Because they love to pump kin.

Went to the opticians today leaving with them telling me my eye sight is better than 20/20. So when I say you look like a C*NT, i think i know what i’m talking about.

*turns on internet* computor, i need to take a break from trying to achieve one thing. show me all of the achievments of others all at once

We All Love To Hate Them But… Let’s Hear Your Dad Jokes. We love to hate them ( secretly of course) But let’s hear the worst ones you come to hear in your life.

What do wives and shingles have in common? if you don’t nail them right, they’ll end up at your neighbor’s.

I just found out that my pillow has a better sex life than me It gets head every night

What’s going on in Paris is outrageous. You think the french would have surrendered by now.

What do you call a religious man with low pH? An acidic Jew.