Why did Fetty Wap chose that as his stage name? Because he wanted to make $50K per day from ad revenue.

What food guide does a Chicagoan need in Japan? A Ramen Manual.

Why are gay people so rude ? Because they’re fucking assholes !

*At store buying school supplies* Son: I need hashtag 2 pencils

Reddit is like a shiny new penny It’s fun to look at but completely worthless 😛

What does Eckhart Tolle get for Christmas? Presence

A kid is playing with his Testicles, while his mom baths him… “Mommy is this my brain?” “Not yet sweetheart, not yet”

My wife left me due to my obsession for classical music.. I hope she takes me Bach

Why do bicycles always fall down if unsupported? Because they’re two-tired.

If life gives you lemons, you migth be lysdexic