The Internet is like alcohol, it gives people courage.

One time a friend said that he “ain’t never had no nothing”. It remains the only time where I have heard someone use a quadruple negative.

“No woman, no cry.” – Tarzan breaking up with girlfriend.

4 gay guys walk into a bar, but there’s only 1 available stool. What do they do? Flip it over.

if religion is the opium of the masses then i smoke weed everyday!

My boyfriend is watching Glee voluntarily and tapping his foot and smiling. That makes me a lesbian now, right?

3 words that wins a girl’s heart. Suck my dick

Some dude was bragging about his brother being a navy seal and it’s like…I don’t care what colour he is, why is your brother a seal

‘I’ before ‘E’ , except after ‘C’ Weird.

I used to be a werewolf… but I’m alright noooooooowwwwww!