So, are you a sub? *he looks into my eyes* What do you mean, like a sandwich?

Why are dogs such terrible dancers? They have two left feet.

What’s a bounty hunter’s favorite cheese? Fetta

Freaking out people walking round the cemetery dressed as a Ghostbuster.

Hey, did you all hear about the Muslim space program? Yeah, me neither.

i swear to god I’m funny I was going to tell a gay joke… Butt fuck it.. Bada bom tisssh

Magician walking down the street A magician is walking down a street, he then turns into a grocery store.

How do you stop a rooser crowing on Sunday ? Eat him on Saturday !

Cop: Do you know why I pulled you over? Me:I’m cute? Cop: Nope Me: you like my car? Cop: Nope Me: I could do this all day.

What does a scientologist and an almond have in common? They are both nuts.