Why did the boy stand behind the horse? He thought he might get a kick out of it!

Did you hear about the blonde that tried to enter a weightlifting competition? The judges said “Sorry, we’ve got enough dumbbells”

I just introduced my date as P. Sherman, 42 Wallaby Way, Sydney because I forgot his name. How’s your night?

Who’ll handle the Guantanamo closing? Same guys who did Circuit City?

Who is bigger – Mrs Bigger or Mrs Bigger’s baby? Mrs Bigger’s baby because he’s a little Bigger.

this is what happens when you don’t read the comments before commenting [deleted]

If I could time travel I’d go to my funeral and take names of people who seemed to be handling it a little too well.

Beer is mankind’s best invention ever, but the wheel is the most revolutionary.

If someone who speaks two languages is bilingual, and someone who speaks many languages is multilingual, then what do you call someone who speaks one language? **An American.**

I bought my kid some McDonald’s today. He really doesn’t like stocks though.