Old rich white men selecting strong young black men to work on their fields? I’m not sure about this NFL draft thing.

A man who took an Airline company to court after his luggage went missing has lost his case.

I’m not an elitist. I’m far better than that.

I think I’m just going to date procrastination… It just makes sense, it’s been fucking me every day since high school.

My life would be so much better if I could use a smokebomb to conceal my escape after being turned down by a girl.

If you accidentally get stuck holding the door for a bunch of people. 1. Relax 2. Accept your fate 3. You are part of the building now

Why isn’t Sonic the Hedgehog Muslim? Because once Ramadan is over, he can’t stop fasting!

Where does food go when Palpatine eats it? In Sidious!

Whenever I try to steal from people I get stabbed by an old plastic fork or a stick. The homeless are resourceful, man.

Why did the skeleton not attend prom? He had no body to go with.