You’re like a semicolon. I’m not sure exactly what to do with you.

Find out this one weird trick fishermen use. Click bait.

Why do people always talk in absolutes? I would never do that. It’s the worst.

Why was the chicken kicked out of class? For using *fowl* language.

{discussing wedding dresses} CW1: I had mine preserved. CW2: I donated mine to a charity. You? Me: I used mine as kindling for a bonfire.

TEXT “TEXT” TO TEXT TO DONATE A TEXT TO TEXT

One time I walked into a bathroom and there were no urinals I thought, “huh… that’s strange.” The girls that came in after me were apparently pretty freaked out by it too.

My mom laughed at me when I said I was going to build a car out of spaghetti. You should have seen her face as I drove pasta

Why did Dr.Pepper blush? He received a Sunkist from his Crush

Why did no one like the cannibal that started eating his own body? He was too full of himself.