Why did the cannibal live on his own? He was fed up with other people.

What would have happened if asians had committed the attacks of 9/11? 10/11 with rice, thanks for your suggestion

Are you bad wifi? Because I see there is no connection here.

*me, at high school prom Me: So, you wanna dance? Her: Definitely! M: Can you tell me why?

Apologies to my forehead for assuming that automatic doors will just “open.”

What’s the best part about fingering a gypsy on her period? Getting your palms red at the same time.

Whenever I tell someone I’m Russian they tell me to slow down.

What do you call 4 dicks tied together? An erectangle.

I asked Sean Connery what game he was going to play with Roger Federer tomorrow and what time he was going to go He replied: “Tennish”

I bet my butcher $50 that he couldn’t reach the meat on the top shelf. He said “No, the steaks are too high”.