[Meeting] CEO: as u can see [points to graph w laser] we- BUSINESS CAT:[comes flying across table & just crashes right into a photocopier]

Addicted Three years ago I got addicted to soap. But now I’m clean.

What did the Orthopedist Comedian Magician say to his patient? “For my next trick, i’ll tickle your funny bone”

What is the best thing about having sex with twenty-five year olds? There’s twenty of them.

Sorry a lot of sand came out of my sleeve when I shook your hand; I went to the beach six years ago.

When your telling a joke But you punch up the fuckline

If spiders ever come to the realization that people are terrified of them, we’re fcuked.

How come the steel clad soldiers from the Ming Dynasty lost to the Knights of Eastern Europe? They had a chink in their armor.

LPT: Think content you are looking for has been removed from the internet? Just ask the NSA, They always keep backups!

How do you keep a homo in suspense? I’ll tell you in the morning.