How many fishermen does it take to change a light bulb? One but you should have seen the bulb it must have been THIS big.

What do you call a nerd after highschool? Boss

French-related joke (semi nsfw) When does a Frenchman get his morning wood? A bonne heure.

Shoutout to sidewalks! For keeping me off the streets…

What’s the difference between the Joker and Ronald McDonald? The Joker only killed people in Gotham City.

My grandparents were vaporised in a freak accident They will be mist… :'(

What do you call a dinosaur with too much power? A tyrant-osaurus rex!       I’ll see myself out…

How to become a The Fray fan in easy steps – Step 1: You say, “We need to talk…”

Santa is nearby… I can sense his presents

The only thing between me & a killing spree is the fact that I’d have to poop in front of people in prison.