Master Yoda, what sound do sheep make? Yoda: “Dey go bah”

What do you call a blind deer? No-eye-deer. What do you call a blind dead deer? Still no-eye-deer. What do you call two blind deer that died while having sex? Still no-fucking-eye-deer.

What do you call a hippie astronaut? A far out man

When someone tells me they’re a bodybuilder, I always ask “Not the Dr. Frankenstein kind, right?” because you can never be too careful.

Why was the little mountain dying? Because he was terminally hill.

Capitalism is horrible Buy my book to find out why!

What did one computer CPU say to the other after getting hit? Ow! That megahertz!

What do they call the Hulk when he has an erection? Bruce Boner.

Hey beautiful, is your Dad in prison? Because if I was your Father I would be..

Apparently someone in London gets stabbed every 52 seconds Poor bastard