VW have got in2 trouble 4 falsifying data, apparently this is not d first time the Germans have been found guilty of lying abt gas emissions

How do you find Will Smith in a snow storm? You look for fresh prints.

I got a job at an orange juice factory I couldn’t concentrate so I was canned

My friends made fun of me for buying this flamethrower, but at least I don’t have to shovel snow this weekend.

What does a pretentious owl say? Whom whom.

Dear whoever ate my fries while I was in the ball pit at McDonalds… Not funny, grow up.

When Jesus Makes Tea… Hebrews

When mad at the hubby, I just tweet about it. I don’t sleep with a waitress that looks just like him. I’m talking to you David Arquette.

What did the Mexican say to his dirty friend? Hey Messe

What do you call an Igloo without a toilet ? An Ig !