Guy shoots Fake Gun in the air https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Auw8wJVU0l8

What’s blue and gold and comes in brownies? Cub Scouts.

Guy in USA:(phone) you ready? Guy in Australia: (phone) hell yeah Both:123 *each drop a piece of bread onto ground* Both: EARTH SANDWICH!

I’m one step away from being rich All I need now is money

I threw a boomerang a few years ago I now live in constant fear

What is worse than being kidnapped by the Talibans? Being rescued by the Americans

What do Greek soccer players wear? Soccer tee’s

That uneasy moment when your one night stand thinks otherwise and is anticipating you to change your relationship status.

My wife’s celebrity “free pass” is Paul Rudd, and mine is my wife because yah right like I’m gonna walk into *that* propeller blade.

Why did the chicken kill himself To get to the other side