My parents didnt take me seriously when i came out It was because i couldn’t keep a straight face

What do you call a factory that only makes good products? A satisfactory

What happened to the tree when the lumber jack hit on it? It got all sappy

“I like your pushy.” Sean Connery talking dirty to his woman

Why cant a Gorilla get a job? BECAUSE HE’S BLACK

What did one coconut say to the other? Oh my god a talking coconut!

What does a nosey pepper do? Get jalapeno business.

You know, I heard listening to Queen has been scientifically proven to give people autism. Apparently because of the unusually high Mercury content.

What’s the difference between a bonus and a penis? A wife will blow a bonus.

A parakeet that won’t shut up equals dinner for fluffy tonight.