Took me forever to find this chronology book. It’s about time.

REMINDER: Joe Biden is the only American vice president in the last 15 years who hasn’t shot a friend in the face.

what do you call bees on halloween? boo bees

My computer isn’t that nervous. It’s just a bit ANSI.

How was copper wire invented? Two jews found the same penny.

What do you call a deaf chick in bed? Anything you want

Never Go Shopping When You Are Hungry. but it’s been over a week now and every day I just get hungrier.

Why did the doctor toss his patient down a well? He tried to kill them.

My phone died… There won’t be any service.

What do you get when you mix castor oil with holy water? A religious movement.