Bosses are like diapers… Always on your ass and normally full of shit

Did you hear about that broom on the news?? It’s sweeping the nation

Well, it’s getting to that time of year when my wife gets drunk and gives her annual blow job. I hope it’s me this year!

Trivia Crack is much safer than regular crack, but it will still tear your family apart.

Things I’m doing today * going to the gym * having sex * lying

HR wants me to give myself a self evaluation. This will be the first and last time they make this mistake.

What is the difference between animal abuse and animal cruelty? . . . The size of your dick.

I like to switch browsers as often as possible. They all prompt to make them the default browser. It feels nice to be fought over.

There’s plenty of fish in the sea(fixed) But until I find one I’m just stuck holding my rod

A Quebecer staying in a hotel in Edmonton phoned room service for some pepper. “Black pepper, or white pepper?” asked the concierge. “Toilette pepper!” yelled the Quebecer.