What do you calla brown guy that asks a lot of question? A curry-ous guy

My friend asked me to take a look at something on r/jokes I replied, “No thanks, I already reddit.”

I broke up with my girlfriend when I found out she only has 4 toes on each foot…. Turns out I’m lack-toes intolerant..

I think it’s a shame that young people today no longer even know why we celebrate Halloween. None of us would be here today if Jesus hadn’t slain that fucking giant pumpkin.

It’s the point of the night where I either keep my drunk friend from making an ass of herself or just tape it for youtube.

My credit card was stolen today I don’t think I’m gonna do anything about it. So far he’s spending way less than my wife does.

When I was a kid I used to ask my my papa… “Whatcha doin?” Papa would say, “I’M MINDING MY OWN DAMN BUSINESS.” Best advice ever.

What do you give to an elephant who suffering from diarrhea? Space.

I’m no cactus expert. But, I know a prick when I see one.

My wife left me because “I am addicted to video games”.. I was so sad I could hardly console myself