“God’s last name is not Dammit.” Unknown

If I had a dollar for every gender that exists…. I’d have two dollars.

How does the Pope pay for things online? Papal

I had sex for an hour and 45 seconds last night. Thanks daylight savings!

Why was the Rastafarian poor? Because he was jah bless

One sperm says to another… “Hey, which way to the egg?” The other sperm replies, “I’m not sure, but we just passed the tonsils.”

How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Only 2, but I don’t know how they got in there

Why did the man put his car in the oven? Because he wanted a hot rod.

What did the left leg say to the right leg? Between me and you, we can make a lot of money.

What dance do hippies hate? A square dance.