I’m taking part in the Hillsborough triathlon today! Football, squash, and fencing.

What do you call a blond that dyed her hair brown? Artificial Intelligence

I don’t see what people get from… Dark humor!

A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm… and says “Pint please, and one for the road.”

Why does Daenerys Targaryen listen to Hoagy Carmichael? Because she’s got Jorah on Her Mind.

What do you call a lesbian Eskimo? Klondike

What does a robot do at the end of a one night stand? He nuts and bolts.

What do you call a fat skeleton? big boned

I don’t know what’s longer: a microwave minute or a treadmill minute…

Who is this Rorschach guy? And why does he keep making paintings of my parents fighting?