Bill Cosby sure does love pudding Pudding his dick where it doesn’t belong.

How do you spell onomatopoeia? Just spell it like the way it sounds!

BREAKING: Apple reportedly prepping electric car. Battery life is expected to be about an hour, with a 2 foot charging cable.

What has more brains than Kurt Cobain? The wall behind him.

How were you conceived? Daddy came on his shoe and kicked mommy in the ass. Or Daddy came on the wall and mommy ran against the wall.

What do you call a disease that only effects ducks? A mallard-y

Q: How can you tell Bill Clinton from a bunch of dead bodies? A: He’s the stiff one.

I now have 8 apps to communicate with the same people.

The inventor of the throat lozenge died today… There will be no coffin at the funeral.

Did you hear about the russian prosititute Nickersonanoff