I met a dyslexic Christian who was also a carpenter… Kind of weird meeting someone who believes in guardian angles.

I’d like to tell you a joke about paper… but it’s tearable.

I saw a scary looking Middle-Eastern man so Iran

“Do you want to hold my baby?” Yeah nice try. You got yourself into this mess you hold your own damn baby.

Why can you only drown a hipster in a tributary? Because, it isn’t mainstream.

What does a desperate Mexican do? Bangs his head against the wall.

*through a mouthful of Nutella* Oh, yeah, healfy eafing is sufer imfortant to me.

I always thought Hamlet was the story of a small pig.

Slept with a girl who had eczema last night The sex was alright but her tits were cracking!

How many Mexicans does it take to change a lightbulb? Just Juan.