There’s a strong correlation between the amount of pre-made holes in a guy’s jeans & his level of douchiness.

Why doesn’t barbie have any kids?

What do you call a camel without humps? Humphrey.

There are two types of people in the world… 1. People who masturbate 2. Fucking Liars

why do parents get mad when u sleep all day like im staying out of trouble and im not spending your money like what is the issue here

What part of the hospital does John Cena hate the most? the ICU

I have enough money to live comfortably for the rest of my life …if I die next Tuesday.

The early bird needs to shut the fcuk up.

Who is the scariest hobbit? Lorena

What did the little boy with no hands get for Christmas? Gloves. Just kidding, he hasn’t opened them yet.