I can see clearly now the rain has gone; I can *backs into mailbox* see all obstacles in my way *runs over squirrel* omg I love this song

What is the most heinous, disgusting, perverse, NSFW joke that you know?

I dropped my iPhone in water and now I’m unable to make phone calls. So basically it’s the same as it was before.

What do you call a second hand gold necklace? Recyc-bling (I’m pretty sure I thought of this myself but I used to smoke the Mary Jane a lot so……)

Threading the hook… Are those fishermen that are good with their hands, wrangling the worm — called Master Baiters ? Boom-boom

Do you know that awesome feeling after understating math? Me neither

I need a joke about lightning keep it pg thanks.

Why did the semen cross the road? Because I hadn’t masturbated for a month. Seriously, when I ejaculated it was six feet. Which was unusual, as usually it’s cum. Strange day.

I just finished reading Great Expectations. It wasn’t all I hoped it would be.

Old fire fighters never quit They just do asbestos they can.