Some people say I am an evil person. But thats not true. I have the heart of a sweet young girl, in a jar under my bed.

Some sad news from Australia… the inventor of the boomerang grenade died today.

[Walking around park with kid] Daughter: Daddy, why is grass green? Me: Because God wants to remind me I have no money everywhere

What’s a white supremacist’s favorite cereal? Special KKK.

Why was the snowman smiling? He heard the snow blower coming

Why did Pee Wee Herman win the annual bass fishing contest? Experts say it’s because he was a master baiter.

Good Cop: step away from the ledge Cat Cop [pushes person off] oops

How did Harry Potter get down the hill? He walked . . . . . . . . . . . . . J.K………………… Rowling

There should be a terrible show about a woman, her mom, and her daughter, all 3 named Jennifer, called “Jenerations” on Lifetime or the CW.

How many lazy people does it take to screw in a light bulb? Count for yourself…