Roller coasters are like your first time having sex. for the amount of time it takes to get there, you wish it lasted longer.

Two guys walk into a bar, the third one ducks.

My dad drove in a pothole and his tire popped, this is how it went Badum-tsss

What do you call it when you give chairs to the poor? A Chair-ity!

What’s the difference between Wright and Rong? Wright yells, “Objection!’ Rong is your typical Chinese man.

What did the father lightning bolt do to his son when he miabehaved? He grounded him.

France declared war on al Qaida yesterday. Thank God, for someone needed to teach the terrorists how to surrender.

2 Mexicans escape from prison. “Jesus, take the wheel!”

Did you hear about the priestess who accidentally healed the evil darklord? Talk about a clerical error!

Say what you want about porn stars… but they work hard, right up until the moment they get off.