How do you sink a Polish battleship? Put it in water

What part of the Vatican is made entirely out of amino acids? The Cysteine Chapel

chemistry a male and female atom are in a bar. the male goes to the female and makes a terrible pickup line for her. somehow it worked and it didn’t take long for the chemistry to start.

I gave my girlfriend a birthday celebration that lasted only half a minute After all, it was her thirty second birthday.

If God is watching us, the least we can do is be entertaining.

We live in a generation where Gorilla Glass technology protects our phones.. ..yet there’s nothing that exists that could have saved Harambe.

“I’ve been trying to recapture my lost youth… I really need to get that cellar door fixed.” ^^^^^^. ^^^^^^^. Gary Delaney.

What’s the difference between you and Bear Grylls? You’d get fired if you drank piss at work.

Do you think horses are negative? They seem like real neigh sayers, and they’re always whinnying about everything

My dentist is going to be so proud of me! I’ve been brushing my teeth like ten times a day since I started using Betty Crocker toothpaste.