I had some good news today; a TV Station have commissioned my new show about what goes on inside a cockpit. We’re filming the pilot next week.

What do you call a water bottle that objects? A rebuttle

Two nice guys didn’t walk into a bar They both insists they would hold the door for each others.

Why does a milking stool only have three legs? The cow has the udder.

I may make a lot of typos when I text, but in my defense, I do have to look at the road sometimes.

How did Mace Windu from Star Wars die? Through the windu!

My New Year’s Resolution is to lose 10 pounds Only 13 more to go

What dog do other dogs go to when they are sick? A docs-hund!

How did the mathmatician become unconstipated? He worked it out with a pencil

I’m considering becoming a mind reader. What are your thoughts?