What is your best lawyer joke? I need some new material for the court house.

What’s hitler’s favorite yu-gi-oh card? Blue eyes blond dragon.

A man with dredlocks and no religion is.. Currently Jahb less

95% of the world is retarded I’m glad I am the 10%

Why can’t cops eat bacon? Because that would be cannibalism

What’s the difference between the Harriet Tubman and the Red Hot Chili Peppers? Harriet Tubman was a heroine to the slaves; the Red Hot Chili Peppers are slaves to the heroin!

I used to watch 7th Heaven religiously

I hate it when candidates put signs on your lawn without even asking your permission. Who the hell is this ‘Foreclosure’ guy? And what is he running for?

Garden Water Features by Lily Pond

*approaches man sitting at the bar Me: would you like to dance Him: yeah! Me: that’s great because I need to sit down