[12 doctors in a meeting] alright. which one of you idiots leaked the 1 weird tip to lose weight that doctors wont tell you. IDIOTS!

Knock Knock… 1.Knock knock. Whos there? Yoda lady. Yoda lady who? Good job yodeling! 2.Knock knock. Whos there? Well, not your parents, because your parents never knock!

What’s a pirates favorite fast food restaurant? Long John silvers

LOOK A UFO! Quick, grab the worst camera money can buy.

Is yur name Atilla cuz you can be my hun anytime!

99 bugs in the code, 99 bugs in the code Take one down, patch it around, 126 bugs in the code

How do you tell who loves you more. Your wife or your dog? Put both of them in the trunk of your car…drive around…open the trunk and see who is happy to see you.

How is a woman like a condom? Both of them spend more time in the wallet than on dick

What is the difference between a pub and an elephant fart? One is a bar room, and one is a Barooooooooooooom!

What do you call a sheep giving birth in a bedroom? Bedlam