I have used contact lenses my whole life… I can apply them with my eyes closed.

Little Johnny Orders A Pizza “I’ll have an extra large pie, but hold the cheese, hold the sauce, and hold the crust on that pizza!” Haha

I really want to learn how to play the Piano.. .. But it’s not my forte.

How many flys does it to take screw in a lightbulb? Two, but don’t ask me how they got in there.

What’s a Mexican’s favourite sport? Cross country

‘Always the bridesmaid, never the bride’ is good advice for any best man.

How did the monster cure his sore throat? He spent all day gargoyling.

Why was the programmer sexist? Because he treats women like objects. EDIT: phrasing

How do two gays propose? They both get on all fours and present the ring!

There are two types of people on Reddit Karmanaut and Unidan