What would Gregor Mendel pray for if he had a blender for his experiments? Whirled Peas

If you were a girl and your last name was Pelled your name would always be Miss. Pelled

When is a pentagon not a pentagon? When it’s intercepted by a separate plane.

Sitting here eating blueberries wondering if my brain is improving Doubt it….. took too long to spell doubt

Whenever someone’s robbing my house, I pretend I’m robbing it too then I make off with as much of my stuff as possible.

There is a new Barbie doll on the market – Manic-Depressive Barbie …with a set of Oriental throwing knives

He’s street smart. Sesame Street smart.

What kind of currency do astronauts use in space? Starbucks

The guy behind the counter asked me what I wanted on my sub and I said a collar and restraints and now I’m not allowed in Subway.

How do you get herpes viral infection of the eye? Looking for love in all the wrong places.