What did the Muslim Zoophiliac say when he found out his friend was a beekeeper? “Dicks out for Haram Bee”

Why can’t you play cards on a small boat? Because someone is always sitting on the deck.

TIL the excuse the US Marine used in May 1943 after accidentally friendly fire’ing a British U-boat. Woops, wrong sub.

Darth Vader says to Luke ‘I know what you’re getting for Christmas’. Luke: How could you know that? Darth: I have felt your presents

Heart of a lion My grandad has the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from Edinburgh zoo.

Catfishing my ex… So you could say we’re back together.

Black jokes and Mexican jokes are all the same… Once you’ve seen Juan you’ve seen Jamal.

What do you call a Jew with no chance of getting ahead? Bernie Sanders.

I definitely thought I would have shot the lock off of something by now in my life.

It’s a bird, it’s a plane! No, it’s my data plan!