Mention me in your will. Just give me a shout out or something.

Don’t sleep with politicians. They all have aides.

I’ve never had a beard before this one and I didnt like it at first. But its really growing on me.

Who’s the healthiest member of the Army? General Wellbeing

nothing is more unattractive than insecurity unless that doesnt sound right haha i mean whatever you guys think

Pamela Anderson What do you call the space between Pamela Anderson’s breasts? Answer: Silicon Valley. Just heard this one today and wanted to share. Don’t know if this is gonna be a repost.

What’s a Vikings favourite dance? The Loki cokey.

A kleptomaniac in a bakery really takes the cake

Why can’t Jesus eat M&Ms? Because he isn’t real.

Why did the military name it’s new drone system “Caitlyn Jenner”? Because it’s unmanned