How many tickles does it take to tickle an octopus? Ten-tickles! Courtesy of Ben Morehead of the Goulet Pen team.

I think the best thing about being a house wife is that you would get to be married to a house!

My best friend just ask me to be her maid of honor. What did I ever do to her???

What is an inconvenient truth with music? Algorithm.

Where do suicide bombers go when they die? EVERYWHERE

What would you call a superhero with Down’s Syndrome? Ultra Downy

How many black people does it take to change a lightbulb? You will find out when the light comes on.

Marijuana? More like MOURNrijuana, because you’re parents will have to go to your funeral if you try it. #no

What’s the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms? Ones a Goodyear; the others a fucking amazing year.

“ok start it up” tktktk-puh-buurup-chk-a-chk “give it some gas” ss-ss-icka-icka-grrawh-pshhhh any ideas? “I can’t hear over you beatboxing”