My wife CLAIMS to be my best friend but she didn’t seemed all that psyched when I bragged about this girl at work I just made out with.

What’s Mario’s favourite clothing? Denim denim denim

How many chans does it take to change a lightbulb? Lulz!!! etc etc etc 😀

A kid has cancer Then he gets AIDS from his mom

A Lizard lost its tail… but it got one back from a retail shop!

A white girl walks into a bar She passes it with flying colors and becomes a top lawyer

Wife: “You need to watch A Series of Unfortunate Events” Me: “okay, I’ll get out the wedding video”

What’s the difference between a 100 year old and a 4 year old? What base you’re counting in.

So Nicole Scherzinger has gone from Lewis Hamilton to Ed Sheeran… Guess orange really is the new black.

Every toddler is basically a 1/8th scale model of a person on bath salts.