What does Matthew McConaughey think about an all white, Republican Government? Altright, altright, altright

Men are like cement. After getting laid they take a long time to get hard.

How do you start an Ethiopian rave? Staple some food to the ceiling.

All of the countries in the world run a race. Who wins? Finland. He’s the first to Finnish.

There are two types of countries in the world…. Those who use the metric system, and those who have a successful space program.

My doctor is always whispering to me something about not sticking Q tips in my ears. I need a louder doctor

If Turkey was attacked from the rear Would Greece help?

If you send Joseph Gordon-Levitt a script that doesn’t say “skinny tie” on the first page, he gets so mad he has to write four ukulele songs

A Buddhist Monk visits a hot dog stand in New York and says “make me one with everything”.

What type of overalls did Mario wear? Denim Denim Denim……