Why did Jon Snow go to The Apple Store? For the Watch.

How do you know that the Invisible Man doesn’t have any children? Because he’s not apparent.

Why did Hitler have a thing for men from Hungary? Because they are Hung Arian’s

There should be bongs and blunts at viewings in funeral homes… A true wake and bake.

Breaking News: United States is now the largest producer of salt. So Salty…

But let’s get real here guys I mean who exactly are we kidding ? A husband controls his wife in much the same manner as a barometer controls the weather.

googling ways to dispose of a body,mostly to freak out the douche behind me who keeps staring at my laptop screen

What do you call dirt? Dirty.

What did the welshman do… …when his girlfriend asked him how many sexual partners he’d had? Fell Asleep

I didn’t take my husband’s name when I got married. I figured it’d be confusing if we were both called Keith.