Did you hear about the agnostic, dyslexic, insomniac? He stays up at night wondering if there really is a dog.

I heard they banned phones now in China Apparently there is so many Wings and so many Wongs they keep Winging the Wong number.

How many dicks can Kim Jong-Un suck at once? He chooses to keeps that information secret.

The economy is so bad….

Police officer: “Can you identify yourself, sir?” Driver pulls out his mirror and says: “Yes, it’s me”

Why is the retirement center nicknamed “the garden”? Because it is full of vegetables.

Now that it’s 2017 I can finally make this joke! I haven’t showered since last year! Hahaha

Kryptonite has been found to contain trace elements of Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks to the face. This is why it is so deadly to Superman.

Two jokes walk into a bar… Where’s the punchline?

starbucks is like a hooker… one on every corner and money upfront before they scream your name