Why do vultures hate flying? Because they have to pay extra for Carrion! Budum tsssss

Sean Connery walks into a bar. He says “I’d like a single shot.” The bartender says “That’s a good idea because if you had the chickenpox, the virus is already in you.”

Yo mama so stupid that….. she tried to stop the cold war with a heater.

Sometimes I pretend my hoodie sleeves are elephant trunks. My vote counts just as much as yours

Little Johnny & the Devil A Sunday school teacher asked Little Johnny, “Do you believe in the Devil?” “No,” said Little Johnny. “It’s the same as Santa Claus. I know it’s my daddy.”

Why do Apes like tall buildings? They want to climb the heights of the business world!

When the hostess at the restaurant says “table for two?”, I always like to look surprised and whisper “you can see her too?”.

My sex change from male to female My sex change operation from male to female went really well yesterday. It was so successful, I’m still trying to reverse out the fucking hospital car park!

Why didn’t the piglets listen to the teacher pig? Because he was an old boar.

What’s the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman? Snowballs.