We all live in a yellow submarine… …I really wish the bathroom was working right.

2 Scottish cows in a field: which one is on holiday? The one with the wee calf.

Why did the fat girl cross the road? She wanted some chicken.

two fish are in a…. Two fish are in a tank. One says to the other, ‘do you know how to drive this thing?’

What train do you take to the synagogue? the jew jew tra

What do you call an artist with a brown finger? Picasso

Got fired from the firedepartment Guess putting a sticker saying ‘find em hot and leave em dripping’ wasn’t a good thing to put on our truck

TIFU by sleeping with my boss I should be getting a promotion any day now.

SO lame!!! My significant other is crippled.

Why do squirrels swim on their backs? To keep their nuts dry.