What did the chicken say before it crossed the road? I’ll be Ba Ba Ba Baaach!

How do you make holy water You stab it with a knife over and over

What’s it called when a vampire kisses you goodnight? Necking.

What kind of dog is the quietest? A “shhh”nauzer

What’s small, orange and sounds like a parrot? An oompa loompa with a sore throat.

What is a store for dogs called? A Superbarket

What did the Trump supporting viticulturist say Monday morning? Time to make America Grapes Again.

Which female comedienne likes terrible punchlines? BaDum **Trish**.

Mom She gave me life She gave me love She gave me sarcasm She gave me the ability to cut brake lines so that it looks like an accident.

When the moon hits your eye… When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie that’s amore. When you swim in a creek and an eel bites your cheek that’s a moray.