Genderqueers must have a tough time scheduling.. Because they don’t have agenda

A weeping willow tree is just like a regular willow tree only married

Here’s the thing about women: it’s really hard to write a good joke about them.

How much wood can Chuck Norris if Chuck Norris could chuck wood? Chuck Norris would just stare at the wood, and it would chuck itself out of fear.

“Mommy, I don’t wanna grow up and die!” “Oh. Well, you can die at any age, really.”

what’s orange and sounds like a parrot? a carrot.

Facebook needs to add “still banging my ex” as a relationship status option

What do you call a compliant volcano? A volcayes.

What do you call a lost Asian man? Disoriental

I wear the pants in this family. It’s so embarrassing when I go to Olive Garden, and the rest of my family is naked from the waist down.