Knock Knock? Whos There? Imaja / Imaja who ? Oh look the door opened Im out

Why did God allow women to get yeast infections? So they could know what it was like to live with an irritating cunt sometimes..

How many Jews can you fit in a car? Two in the front, two in the back and none in the ash tray because the Holocaust never happened.

How do you keep black people out of your business? Put up a “Now Hiring” sign.

Me: *Sweeping* Wife: Excuse me Me: *Slams broom on floor* YOU SHALL NOT PASS Wife: … Me: That’s from lord of Wife: MOVE! Me: *Moves*

I missed a period in that last tweet. I hope I’m not pregnant.

Fun trick to play on your partner: “Don’t you remember what day this is?”

What do you get if you cross an alien and a hot drink ? Gravi-tea !

Candy cigarettes are a gateway drug to rock candy.

What’s Hitler’s favorite Pokemon? Nein-Tales.