What happens at night in Bangladesh? It gets Dhaka

Why don’t women get hit by trains? There is no railroad tracks between the living room and the kitchen.

I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don’t know what he laced them with, but I’ve been tripping all day!

Our homemade guacamole turned darker green after sitting out for awhile Seems like after hitting the air, it guacsidized.

I think my girlfriend has a trigonometry fetish because every time I talk to her she gets off on a tangent.

I bet… … you clicked here.

What’s the difference between a coyote and a flea? One howls on the prairie; the other prowls on the hairy.

If Google ever goes down and stays down, I’m fucked. I know four facts and they’re all about elephants and I already forgot three of them.

*licks finger, holds it up in the air* ah yes, just as i suspected. wind.

[Frugal] I ran behind a bus all the way home and save $2.25. Got home and girlfriend mocked me saying had I run behind a cab, I would have saved $15.