Enough with the North Korea jokes guys, Seriousry they aren’t funny!

They say that money can’t buy you happiness, but being broke buys you nothing…

invemtor of fruit-by-the-foot: [stares blankley at a roll of toilet paper for hours] WAIT I’VE GOT IT

Giving people the finger while driving just isn’t effective. Which is why I had the catapult installed.

You dig ,I dig, she dig, he dig, we dig, they dig. It’s not a great poem but it’s very deep.

What is a heroin addict’s favorite website? Instagram.

Once I saw a blind man touching a cheese grater at Ikea. He said: “who wrote this bullshit”

Why should you never date a tennis player? Love means nothing to them.

What do you call a man with three cocks? A farmer

Got out of the car and dropped my keys in the gutter. They landed next to my mind, which I thought I’d lost.