My friend is nuts. He thinks he’s Bugs Bunny. But I’m positive he isn’t. How do you know he isn’t? Because I am.

A man in the car beside me had his arm out the window and I was admiring his sleeve tattoo until I realized it was only excessive arm hair

If one horse is in the corral, running around the perimeter of the fence,and another horse is running free in a field, which one is singing, “Don’t Fence Me In”? Neither. Horses can’t sing.

How did the writer pop the question? He per-prosed

Did you hear the one about the deaf man? Neither did he.

Why is the mailman bad at sex? His package cums too quickly

How many MRAs does it take to screw in a light bulb? Tires need changing too you know!

What’s the best part about having sex with twenty-one year old’s? There’s twenty of them.

Teacher and student Chemistry teacher: Did you know protons have mass? Student: I didn’t even know they were catholics.

A magician was driving down the street and turned into a driveway