Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a registered six offender.

The difference between the middle finger and the fourth finger I use my middle finger to say fuck you to you.. My wife uses my fourth finger to say fuck you to me

If a flea and a fly pass each other what time is it? Fly past flea.

My preferred method of birth control is “mood-killing repetitive DVD menu.”

Why would the Holocaust have failed if the victims were Islamic? Because it would have been impossible to get a Muslim to take a shower.

How was copper wire invented? 2 jews fighting over a penny.

So from now on I believe in talking bears until someone can logically explain how that Ted scene just happened on the #oscars

what did Freud say about an algebraic equation? What you do to one side, you must also do to your mother

Congratulations! You successfully delivered that bell with no chips or chunks of it breaking off. Please see us to receive your… No Bell Piece Prize

What’s the similarity between Chris Brown being released and Pokemon Go being released? An increase in battery cases.